I rarely do things as I am told because life is what I make it. It is not because I am stubborn but because I believe that most instances in life are done without anyone telling you what to do.
My family often think that I am so stubborn that I don’t value their judgment or opinion. I’m better than that. I do value their opinion – I just rarely follow them for several reasons.
They won’t be there all the time. Too much dependence on other’s opinion will obviously make you dependent. You will always look for them when you’re faced with big decisions. I don’t want to live like that. True, I am sick. I needed medical attention. I needed to face reality that I should follow basic things if I want to survive. But, there are instances when tough decisions are made by you alone. At the end of the day, it is you and your life and God.
I always think of people that I love as a support system – not a “decision-maker” system. After all, I am just sick – not invalid. If for some God-forbid occurrence that I would become one, my support system knows what to do – I hope.
Their happiness is my happiness but it doesn’t mean I have to please them all the time. There is a big difference BETWEEN making other’s happiness your happiness AND letting their happiness control you. I was not born to please anybody – and neither they are. The fine line between their happiness and mine must be determined no matter how hard it can be.
If their happiness means I have to follow everything they think is right but it isn’t what my mind and heart says, I would politely decline and do everything in my power to follow what I think is right without hurting them in the process.
Believe me, it takes years of practice and I am still practicing until now.
Letting down people and saying no sometimes is healthy. You can’t say yes all the time just to please people (in relation to their happiness). It is healthy to let them know that I still own the final decision and I don’t mean to be stubborn.
I am a hands-on learner. I don’t sit well with books and theories alone. I have to see how something works before it can register in my mind. And, when it registers in my mind, it stays there like leech. That’s the same as making mistakes. If I made a decision and I found out later that it was a mistake, I learn from it. I believe that life throws many tests – nobody expects you to perfect it. But, learning each time is what matters not the number of times you failed.
Dare to make mistakes but dare to stand up and move on, as well. 🙂