The Unpopular Heartthrob

He’s not tall. He’s not that handsome. He sometimes does things clumsily. He is not a smooth talker and he never does things to sweep girls off their feet just by looking at them. In fact, he rarely looks at people especially girls because he feels awkward like an introvert that he is.

To an onlooker, he may seem so awkward and clumsy-looking. To me, he’s the most beautiful masterpiece.

The way he speaks his mind reminds me of the introvert that I am. The way he bares his soul slowly, peel by peel, reminds me of the way I am.

I love him?

Yes, I do like he’s the twin of my soul. I do like I can never replace him when he goes away. I do like I will feel empty when he’s gone.

He’s not my ordinary guy but he will never know. He must not know. He’s my best friend. It shall remain that way.

– //excerpt from the book I’ll never write//

The Seen Zone

Have you ever been into the seen zone? Oh yes I have countless times.

Sometimes, I don’t expect anything anymore so I won’t get hurt but still the “seen zone” is probably the most pitiful encounter anyone can have.

It’s like you’re excited about something and because you have no one on sight to talk to you go to messengers and the likes to tell this exciting thing only to be “seen zone”.

How hard can it get for people to reply – yeah? Well, that’s great… or… Yeah sure, will do… or wow, awesome…take care alright?

But sometimes, seen zone is a blessing. It just teaches you that you’re not that important of a person to be given a fraction of a time for a simple reply.

It hurts, yes. But, at least the pain is real rather than having people fake their feelings on you. Time to get super real.

Time to build walls and burn bridges.

If I Chose To


People tend to hide who they are for fear of a lot of things –

– rejection
– being misunderstood
– being hurt
– being left behind

They are afraid that if they open up, the person will immediately hurt them or perhaps they are afraid that the person will only leave them behind.

I know a certain person who does not open up because he is afraid of pain, of being hurt and being left behind. And, I will show him that as long as I am alive, he will never feel like that ever again.

Friendship is loyalty. The one that you are ready to take risks for because you know and you trust the person.

I cannot protect him from pain or whatever life throws at him but I promise that I will be there giving him a good boost of confidence and support.

I will be his smile when all he wants to do is cry.

I will be his sun when the world turns dark.

I will be a candle when the night swallows his daylight.

I am and will be his best friend even if to him I am just another ordinary girl.

More than You Probably Know

I had this friend who keeps lying. He lies about just anything. But, what I hated the most was that he lies about how he really feels.

He is my best friend. He tells me it is awkward for him to hear from me that I love him. I told him that I rarely hide the feelings that I meant and I won’t hesitate to show what I feel because I know that life is too short. I want the people I love to know I love them before it’s too late. Life sometimes play extreme jokes to you and before you know it the next moment’s already gone.

The next days, he tells me “I love you” in another language and even if I find it cute, I really find it somewhat irritating. He is my best friend, why can’t he just tell me how he feels in the same way that I do?

Why should he use another language that I have to use world’s greatest library for me to understand?

Sigh, but anyways, I am glad that he tells me he loves me even in another language. That’ the first step.

It’s my mission to make him human! (Evil laugh)

But, I do love him like my own flesh and blood. :)

Peace out!

Trauma and Life

Vehicular accidents. They happen. And, just like anything else, they are real.

It hits you sometimes mildly but sometimes hit you extremely that you’re in danger of losing not only limbs or senses but your life.

Despite this danger, nobody has ever vowed not to ride vehicles anymore. After all, vehicles are our indispensable commodity. It cannot be denied that we need it so we can go from one place to another.

How do we prevent vehicular accidents?

1. Wear proper protective gear (for motorcycle riders)
2. Wear helmet
3. Follow traffic rules
4. Don’t ever drink and drive
5. Fasten your seat belts
6. Stop, look and listen
7. Never use mobile phones while driving

Finally, do not forget to whisper a prayer as you ride your vehicle for angels to come and protect you.

Believe me, even a defensive driver like me can get into accidents, which could jeopardize a limb or two. Luckily, mine was just an open wound – nothing really serious.

Another Day Seem Different but the Same


Is it Christmas? Nope, not yet but the look and feel of such picture already is.

Another day seem different but the same as every other day. I marvel at the beauty of God’s creation especially humans with whom I have experienced a lot.

My friends who keep reminding me that life is indeed short to waste on hatred and negativity.

Strangers who make me realize that goodness and kindness are free and has to be given.

Family who keep being my pillar of support.

Soul mates who may or may not stay with you but still teach you one thing or two.

There are so many things to think about but as another day comes to an end, all that really mattered is that you’ve lived not just exist.

Goodbye Green, Hello Yellow

Goodbye Green – Freshmen Year

Hello Yellow – Sophomore Year

Yes, I finally said my goodbye to green and I welcomed my second year as medicine student with a big embrace. After all, I deserved it, right?

It’s August and going mid-semester already – the struggle is piling and the pages to read are accumulating. Oh well, this is what I signed up for and I should function even under extreme stress. That’s what being a doctor (a future one that is) really means.

Before I became a sophomore, I enjoyed life with friends and family. I tried living each day at a time – as if it is my last because I had limited time before classes starts. I know I would be busy when classes begin and yes – they would be busy as well.

One thing I’ve learned – having a circle of friends in med school is VERY IMPORTANT. It lifts you up. I brings you sheer joy despite the stress.

Family is important, too!

So, for all med students out there. My shout-outs for you! Do not ever forget every single friend and family you have. After all, they are your core foundation!

Peace out…study mode! :-)

Colors and Shades


Colors make the world brighter, happier and amazing to look at. It is amazing how with a combination of two colors, one would come up with a different one.

I think the happiest of all colors is red but also strong and bold. It is my favorite after all. I find the color strangely magnetizing like it pulls me towards it. So if I was magnetized, perhaps my innate color is the complete opposite of red? That I would not know.

Life is just like colors. There are certain colors that you wear on different occasions or mood. There are colors you find really undesirable but the point is it reflects who you are inside and what your moods are depending on the color choice you make.

That’s me.