A Night to Remember

1-11-19

I was on duty at the ER when a relatively comfortable and not in distress patient came in. He was ambulatory and showed no signs of debilitating disease. So I went about interviewing the patient in preparation for admission. After I interviewed the patient, I went about the routine of ordering on the chart so I can refer it to my senior, writing the history of present illness and other side notes I am expected to write. Continue reading “A Night to Remember”

Advertisements

The Journey that Ended and Began…at the same time.

This post will be extremely personal.

This is a story of a girl who started med school back in 2014. She suffered a lot, endured a lot, shattered a lot and yet she emerged as cool as she can be in her own way – better, wiser, stronger and beautifully scarred.

However, this is not just any story of a girl. This is the story of what she went through and she will recount everything – in as much as her memory can remember – all the times that a legion of angels has come to help her.

Continue reading “The Journey that Ended and Began…at the same time.”

Doctors: Are we prolonging life? Or are we prolonging death?

According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary;

Life: n. an organismic state characterized by capacity for metabolism, growth, reaction to stimuli, and reproduction

Death: n. a permanent cessation of all vital functions: the end of life

In a book called “Being Mortal”, author Atul Gawande said that “spending one’s final days in an ICU because of terminal illness is for most people a kind of failure.” In another survey done in 2013 by researchers at an academic medical center, it showed that 11% of their patients received treatments and aggressive management that are deemed futile.

Continue reading “Doctors: Are we prolonging life? Or are we prolonging death?”

Service Does Not Count Time

It has been 2 weeks ~ of waking up early just to get to the hospital on time, of no hearty breakfast because of the early endorsement that leaves us eating faster so we can carry out thereafter and of perpetual lack of sleep.

Service does not count time. You don’t count the time you have to be in the hospital if it is service that you wanted to extend. You don’t count the time you give or sacrifice if it is service that’s on your mind.

Continue reading “Service Does Not Count Time”

It doesn’t Get Better

struggling-med-studentAs a med student, I realized that the system is teaching me not only knowledge and skills but also discipline. But above all endurance to face anything.

Med school is a battle of will-power, the survival of the fittest, a war between authority and independence, being mindful of the hierarchy, every odd rolled into one. I can’t complain – after all, I chose this for myself.

And believe me, it doesn’t get better. Continue reading “It doesn’t Get Better”

The Monotony of Gray

grayI see bleakness. I recognize my feeling as something far off – beyond the reach of logic. I wake up every day – smile at people who smile at me – ignore the ones who don’t, take a bath, eat, brush my teeth, go out if I have to, go home, check emails, check messages, travel to a predefined destination, text someone if necessary, call someone if necessary, read some stories, play games, lie in bed and then this is usually the moment everything falls apart.

Every day feels like I am on autopilot – like someone has been functioning for my sake because my sanity just couldn’t handle my realities.

Continue reading “The Monotony of Gray”

Sweet Life, Sweet Friends

image

You are this.

You spend even a minute of your time for me and I find it very sweet.

We’re best friends – the not so typical guy and girl best friends. You’ve seen me at my worst and you’ve yet to see my best.

You send me text messages even at midnight just to make sure I am studying and not just lazily sleeping.

We are this.

And it is not even in a romantic way. No – I refuse to give meaning to it.

Because, we are this.

It Is Another Story

How far will forgiveness go for mere humans? What if you can never bring back the things you lost in the past, will you sacrifice the kind of peace you are enjoying right now just so the people who hurt you will be pleased?

What if you can look them in the eye and be able to tell them that I forgive you without any grudge or pain but still refused to bring them into your life, is that contradictory already to “forgiveness”?

Forgiveness is forgiveness, no more no less. Taking the forgiven back into your life is another story. ~ Rev. Fr. D

That was the answer I got from a priest I respect the most.

And that’s where it hit me. I don’t need to sacrifice my peace of mind just so I could please the people who hurt me.

If I am at peace, it’s not my problem if they aren’t. I am not obliged to take them back into my life.

Nobody Will Ever Understand

As an SLE patient, it’s safe to say that nobody will ever understand how I feel. The physical toll of the disease. The emotional toll of trying to pretend everything’s going to be okay. The spiritual battle of believing there is a higher purpose to my suffering. The only encouragement that never fails to remind me is the knowledge that my suffering is nothing compared to how Jesus suffered and died on the cross for you and for me.

Continue reading “Nobody Will Ever Understand”